Every time I write one of these “song stories” it takes me down a different rabbit hole ….
I never know what I’m going to write about before I sit down to do it so what comes out is as much of a surprise to me as it is to anyone else .
Sometimes it’s all about the song itself and the meaning behind the words .
Others have been more about where and in fact who I was when I wrote them.
“Patient love” for me definitely falls in to the second category …
I remember writing it at my friends place -
Mark and Athena had a beautiful house on the water just outside of Southampton . Over the years it became such an important place for me . a refuge from the chaos . somewhere I always felt welcome .
I met them in 2008 , just at the end of the “band” era - we were playing a gig in Portsmouth and happened to be on the same night as a band that mark managed .
We had a beer with them afterwards and they very kindly dropped us at the station after the show .
About a year later , mark reached out and offered me a couple of payed gigs . One at a small venue in Southampton and another at his local pub .
I can’t tell you what that meant to me at the time .
I was in perhaps the darkest place I have ever been in .
The band had broken up . As had my relationship . I was completely lost and had no idea what my next move would be . Then suddenly out of the darkness came this small light .
It wasn’t an offer to play Glastonbury’s pyramid stage , but it was something from someone . Someone who wanted to hear my songs … more than that … pay me to play them .
I know this must sound a bit ridiculous with everything that has happened since then , and perhaps a bit melodramatic and overly self deprecating … but please believe me , my confidence was at rock bottom and this endorsement was one of the first movements back towards building some self belief .
I went and played the shows , unsurprisingly not to huge crowds … but to very appreciative ones . I had a wonderful time staying with Mark and Athena and it was the start of what I’m sure will be life long friendships .
From then on , whenever I was busking or playing gigs in that part of the world they would always have me to stay . They would look after me so well and feed me an enormous amount of delicious food …..which back then I needed as I was a skinny little chain smoker that barely ate anything … Athena is a wonderful cook and definitely a feeder … in the best way possible haha .
I found that house and the energy that it possessed an incredibly inspiring place to be . I’ve come up with a few songs and ideas there over the years . “Hearts on fire” being one of note as well as this one …. we also shot a few videos there too . Here is one of them .
For patient love , I remember standing out on their deck , watching the boats on the water and the sun setting and pouring myself out in to this song .
The song is about waiting for someone , even though you know it’s hopeless to . Even though you understand that things change and move along and the past can never come again .
There is something sad yet dignified about it I think .
I’d like to take this moment to genuinely thank Mark and Athena and all of the other amazing people that took me in and looked after me over the years . There are too many to mention here but you all know who you are . you helped to keep the fire burning , even when it was just a tiny flame flickering unassuredly . Thank you xx